When things happen to us: bad, sad, or even happy we have a knee jerk reaction that can sometimes be hard to move past. We have emotional responses that we cling to and make decisions. But I would like to encourage you to step back and remove the anger, hurt feelings, and frustrations. These emotions can block all the good things that could be coming.
Stepping back from the roommate situation I have been able to see that I never needed her. I saw all the signs that she was sneaky, manipulative, and a liar. I saw her selling her stuff on facebook, I heard her say things to her friend about “their house”. I even took lies directly to my face that I KNEW were lies because I wanted it to be true. I ignored ALL of the signs and my intuition because I trusted the person I was sharing my home with. I trusted a lease would protect me from this situation. I ignored it because I trusted her to not do this awful thing. I ignored it because I asked her point blank about the house I overheard her talking about and was told nothing was going on and it was all hypothetical. I “believed” a liar, shame on me?
I have removed my emotion and I am no longer hurt because I realized she was never my friend. But I can’t control her, I control me. I was a friend. I was there for her when she needed me–when she let me be. And that is all I could ever do. I get to walk away from this situation guilt free that I was able to love her. She gets to walk away with more guilt than she probably ever had. She will live with this for the rest of her life knowing that she took advantage of and screwed over people who loved, supported, and listened to her every long winded woe without being heard in return.
I know that I have blessings coming my way that she was blocking with her negativity and hatred. I know that I will be able to come home and not have to wonder what I’m opening the door to. And I am excited for my future with people who will lift me up.
The atmosphere is oddly peaceful for how much frustration has risen in this house in the last 48 hours. I feel like I am supposed to feel stressed about this situation but I feel peace and at ease.
If my former roommate should ever finds this post, I hope she knows I still will always offer her love, because as a christian that is ALL I owe her