Dating as a 20 something in 2019 is weird. We are all trying to maintain our looks and our social life while simultaneously growing our professional lives–oh and try to get some sleep in there too. Whether you’ve dated a lot before now or not one thing is certain… if you’re trying to find a Godly husband is not an easy task.
Godly guys literally have a manual in what to look for in a good woman in Proverbs 31 (https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs+31%3A10-31&version=NIV). And ladies, sure it is a manual for us to aspire to but the most I see about what to look for in a Godly man is that he has to appreciate us as a Godly Woman. Now don’t get me wrong, I appreciate that piece of advice, it has helped me in letting go of men… boys… who were not right for me. These boys don’t deserve my heart and I was able to keep it intact by knowing my worth and that they didn’t (or perhaps did not feel worthy?).
Now if you came here for a manual I don’t think you’ll ever find it here. I am just attempting to work through what I do know, and writing it is the best way I know how.
If there is one thing in 2019 that we as Christians, are misunderstood for, it is equality. Women, in our professional lives, doing the same work as a man should be paid the same as a man. Women, in our relationships, deserve the same respect we give. Woman, in life, are to be given the same opportunities as men. But also as a woman, I expect my romantic relationship to be 2 ways, I am to be pursued and desired, protected and honored, loved and cherished all while I pursue, desire, protect, honor, love, and cherish my man.
So on that note, let us hold our men to the same standards we ask our women to aspire to the Proverbs 31 Woman.
(I am writing this while looking at a website explaining the Proverbs 31 woman, interpreting it to the list compiled below with a Godly Husband in mind https://avirtuouswoman.org/proverbs-31-woman-explained-for-modern-women/ )
- They must have faith. But in the bible it says a man is the head of his household and must lead his family towards God. How is he to lead us toward the life God wants for us, if he lacks Faith.
- Faithfulness. As we are called to be faithful to our husbands, the same should be asked of them. We need to lift up and support our spouse, doing good and no harm for the rest of our lives.
- Loving our children. Now as a single girl, I have no children, but this does not mean that we cannot be role models for children and I definitely think that this should be a goal for all young adults. Our young cousins, siblings, and even children we just encounter are easily influenced by us and we should strive to set that lasting positive impression.
- Health. Putting good things in your mind, body, and spirit. For me this is important because I have a fine line of being encouraged and being forced to be healthy. I never want someone to tell me “you need to work out” or “you’re looking a little chunky”. These comments will NEVER motivate me to get off the couch, these words are only going to make me want to crawl inside myself and never do anything. But I also don’t need someone to tell me, “you look great, you don’t need to work out” for a week straight. And I need someone who knows this about me.
- Service to others with love and kindness. A willingness to help with a cheerful spirit is something that is unmatched. Never do we want to feel like burdens, especially to our significant others. A really flimsy example is if you’re moving, you don’t want to have to beg or bribe your significant other to help.
- Wise with money. A big part of growing up is learning how to save and spend your money wisely. And a Proverbs 31 woman “is a wise steward of the gifts God has given her”. 1 big thing many couples fight about is money, I want to be on the same page as my spouse, saving and spending our money toward common goals.
- motivated. Always moving towards God’s purposes and not being lazy. That does not mean there is no rest, just that work ethic is applied to achieve goals quickly. And again, with a cheerful heart–much like the if you love your job you’ll never work a day in your life.
- Homemaker. A house is not a home without a family to call it so. That being said a family is not 1 person, and a wife is not a slave to her home. Our husbands should see the home as their task and their family as their motivation.
- Time. I don’t want to waste a moment on sadness (of my own heart or God’s) and much like Ted Mosby I want those extra days with my spouse. I don’t want to waste another moment not in their life.
- Hostess, taking care of guests and making them warm and invited whether that be in your home or in your life. Making yourself and your home open, pleasant, and inviting.