College is an interesting and confusing time of trying to figure out how you want your life to work. You have to decide: on a major, if/where you’ll work, what to eat any given day, to go to the gym, pick classes– and go to said classes, where to live, if you’re going to join any academic clubs, if you’re going to join any social clubs… and after ALLLLL that you have to try to sleep and have a social life too! It may sound easy now but it’s definitely an overwhelming beginning to adulthood. But this post is to all the soon to be college freshmen who are trying to decide if they should rush a college sorority or not. In full disclosure, I did not rush at my (large) university and here is why I didn’t:
1. I didn’t have the self esteem to do it freshman year. I had it in my head I just would NOT belong. I was scared of being called out on being too fat, too pale, having too many freckles, too “poor”, or not having cute enough clothes. I now know, after being friends with so many amazing women who were in various sororities, I would like to go back and tell my freshman self, “sure some of the girls may think or say some of that. But A. Who cares? And B. 95% of them will not think ANY of that and you need to try”
2. The whole rush process did not appeal to me and (at the time) interviews scared me. I am a people pleaser and the thought of someone basing if they’re going to like me on one conversation or judging me in general was just a very unnerving experience I was not willing to put myself through my freshman year. But I realized people are going to judge you with or without your consent your entire life and all you can do is put your best foot forward every day with every interaction and hope the person you’re talking to likes what they’re seeing (hey you may just not click with someone and THAT is OK). I have met plenty of decent people in college and sometimes they’re doing just what I’m doing (trying to meet people and make friends) but you just don’t click and it’s no one’s fault. Though the Rush processes still isn’t the most appealing thing to me: being in a hoard of girls shuffled from house to house, greeted with loud chants and cheers, and being called out by name (because you’re wearing a name tag) is still an odd process I am not sure I would have enjoyed. Especially with my odd name, P.S. mom and dad I never found anything with my name on it EVER.
3. I’ve never been the hot girl. From the beginning of college where I was actually doing hair and makeup every day to not giving a rip and going out with a bun on my head and maybe just a touch of mascara. Again I just didn’t have the self esteem for it. Now I know, everyone has their insecurities but people telling you that they’re insecure doesn’t mean yours go away. It is just something that comes with going through college, you’ll go from caring what people think about your chipped nail polish to absolutely not caring about people staring at you and your friends while you sing “NO CHANCE NO WAY, I WONT SAY IM IN LOVE” at the top of your lungs.
4. Stereotypes. My 2nd year of school I thought about rushing. But the rules had changed, you had to be at school a week early and I was unaware of that. But what nailed the coffin was my legacy caught up to me. You see I am the 14th in my family to go to my school and a cousin followed closely behind. Now she was always something I was intimidated by, she is (and always has been) taller, leggy-er, thinner, blonde-r (ok I’m not blonde but you get it). She was the ultimate stereotype to a sorority girl with her sweet smile and sweeter accent and an even sweeter personality to match. When she told me how much she HATED the rush process and was not sure of the money it would require, I just KNEW I couldn’t do it. So when she decided to late rush for second semester I was confused. Funny thing was, my intimidating cousin had a cousin that intimidated her as well, on the other side of the family. Her cousin loved the rush process and was just as tall and thin as my intimidator, though mine was still more blonde 😜.
5. Friends. By the time I decided I could rush. Decided I could handle the judgement whatever it may bring. I had made a group of friends, friends I know I would have never made in a sorority, because they were a group who believed the stereotypes and never would have been caught dead in a sorority. I love my friends but it doesn’t mean I don’t miss the friendships I could have made if I had joined a sorority.
So, should you Rush?
I’ve taken the liberty of making a little quiz for you:
Do you want to rush?
yes, no, unsure
if you answered yes:
Congrats! You do you, I hope you get the one you want and have a fabulous time. Keep in mind most sororities require a certain GPA so get your study on. (Keep in mind even some that do Rush and accept their bids end up not liking it, it’s ok to drop.)
if you answered no:
you do you, I hope you enjoy school and make sure you enjoy some social events too! It’s not ALL about studying and working your life away, make sure you take a few trips with some good friends :).
If you answered unsure:
so I have you questioning your future? I’m so proud to have another wordy over thinker! Ok, so here’s my tip. If you think you may want to, just go out for it and you can always withdraw later if you aren’t enjoying the experience of Rush or the sorority itself. Additionally, if you’re concerned about making friends sororities are built in social experiences. You will always have someone to go to the library or lunch with, a tailgate to go to, and roommates you’re already friends with for sophomore-senior years. Have a great time in college, it’s cliche but it really does go by so much faster than you could ever imagine.